Weird Times

 

Yo, why did gf #3… aka Ms. Mexicana 🇲🇽 …… call me at 3am this morning 😴🥱…. TWICE?! 🥴

I missed the first call…. and when i heard the second call… I thought it HAD to be super urgent so I picked it up… 

*long silent pause…. and then….*

Ms. Mexicana: hello

me: ugh its kinda late.. or too early..or whatever… 

Ms. Straight Gurl: *jumps up out of her sleep* what?! what?! 🤪

Ms. Mexicana: read your texts… 😔

me: ok *then hangs up* 📞

Ms. Straight Gurl: huh?! what?! 👩🏽‍🦯.. “Momma!… is that you Daddy!?” 🗣

Ok, i made that last part up, lol… but the point is…. Ms. Straight Gurl awoke startled all disoriented, smh… I had to calm her down and explain to her that it was just a phone call… (more on PTSD later)

Ms. Straight Gurl: humph 😤… why does she think its ok to call so late?

Me: Honestly, I dunno honey… 

Ms. Straight Gurl: She could never live with us

*referring to an old inquiry of mine*

Me: Ok

Ms. Straight Gurl: this is not a good sign

Me: I know bish🙄🤷🏽‍♀️😤

Meanwhile, I go to my texts, expecting something earth shattering cuz you know… its 3am in the damn morning… 

I start reading….. 

she texted me about her ex’s son sleeping in her bed, which made her feel uncomfortable… 🤯

👀 ugh, ok 🤷🏽‍♀️😳🧐 😠

What in the world 🌎 would make anyone think that is urgent enough to call someone at 3am? 

That’s weird af 🤡… 

and honestly its giving Stephen King vibes… like “Misery” or… maybe even “The Shining”… 

Let’s rewind… I met Ms. Mexicana in 2016… we chatted off and on until recently when we decided to stay “on”. The thing is, she’s like fine, fine… like “Que Suerte 😍! y Muy Bonita!” (yes… i speak Spanglish) 

I would say she’s in the same league as gf# 2 (Ms. Mabeline)… they are both drop dead gorgeous pieces of eye candy… Ms. Mexicana is a long haired slender stud while Ms. Mabeline is a short haired full figured ultra high femme. 

(Ms. Straight Gurl, who is a femme, is hands down incomparable… in a league all of her own for lots of reasons… i don’t compare her to anyone… which is why she is #1 and my bottom bish… anyway…)

Moving along… I dunno what to do with Ms. Mexicana… I give her loads of grace because she’s kinda young….. but at this point… i’ve seen several red flags 🚩

She’s hypersensitive such that if I don’t answer her calls she gets upset and feels neglected… 

She’s needy… and wants to literally talk all day every day via phone call… I mean I can text until the cows come home but I am seldom in a position to excuse myself and go have a private conversation about… you know… nothing 🤷🏽‍♀️… 

She’s not established yet, which doesn’t truly bother me… although at my age, maybe it should… 

She and I had the idea of getting married… i mean we like one another, she’s fine as wine… and it would give her US citizenship along with giving me Mexican citizenship… which would bring my beachfront Mexican retirement goal that much closer to reality (in Mexico foreigners cannot own beachfront property, which is smart). 

Lawd, here comes Ms. Bad Ass Duchess🐶… with my red Tom’s shoe👞 in her mouth, testing my patience… smh

Let me go put this bitch in her fake luxurious crate (its really just a square gate with no top or bottom) so she can learn nothing from her mistakes and continue to be bad af 🙄

Side note: We have an Airbnb guest coming today… it’s some brother coming through to watch his son compete in the A&T junior olympics… let me go clean up and make this lil paper… 

Until Later,

Unique