Integrity

So, interestingly... I and Ms. Straight Gurl are disagreeing on matters which I consider integrity... 

I feel that integrity includes a lack of duality, meaning don’t smile in my face and also talk negatively or provocatively when I am not present. My definition of integrity demands one or the other but not both....

Recently, I had a situation where a “friend” decided she disliked Ms. Straight Gurl. At the same time, this “friend” was also smiling all up in Ms. Straight Gurls face, dancing with her, spending time with her and as soon as she wasn’t present was eager to describe all the petty ways and reasons why she disliked Ms. Straight Gurl. To me, I felt that was not OK, so I said as much. As a result, this “friend” made the decision not to speak to me any more and not to respond to any of my attempts at correspondence as if I had actually done something greater than share my opinion and call it what it was, kinda messed up. 

Fast forward to tonight. My Straight Gurl and I were discussing the situation. Her take on it was that friends and significant others shouldn’t mix so that no one has the opportunity to both be overly friendly and also talk shit. 

My struggle with that is it appears we disagree on what integrity includes and we disagree on holding our inner circle to a particular standard. While I can agree to disagree with the best of them, it feels a little heavy to disagree on such a fundamental topic, one in which I feel very strongly about.... 

So now that we have agreed to disagree there’s an awkward silence that I feel no need to break. 

Tonight is our last night in Mexico and we’re spending it in an awkward silence rather than enjoying the place and one another... That kinda grinds my gears too...

Anyway, let me get back to being uncomfortable 🙄...

Later,

Nique