Away they go

 

Today, I deleted all my dating apps. I also told everyone I was dating that they don’t know me any more. So, peace be unto them. 🤷🏽‍♀️✌🏽

Ms. Straight Gurl did the same 👀. I totally wasn’t expecting that but I am very pleased. 

We had field leveling come to Jesus talk today. She laid a lot of things out for me to look at. Things she was concerned that once I knew them, I’d no longer be interested in her. I listened while she painfully took herself down memory lane, told me about her ex and told me about some financial implications she’s dealing with because of him. It wasn’t great but it could have been worse. Mainly, I was concerned about how it affected her emotionally. There was so much disappointment and heaviness in her voice while telling me. It definitely weighs on her. 

I told her it was ok and asked if she needed any support from me. She said she was fine. We kind of left it at that. She’s moving forward.

I countered with my hodgepodge of a relationship history, which quite honestly was very similar to hers in some ways. Being partnered with financially underwhelming people and being taken for a ride because you’re the responsible one. It happens. I shared the tragedies, which were my last two ex’s. I hope it made her feel better that we could see eye to eye on our experiences. 

After the sharing part, she was relieved. Apparently she’d been carrying it around on her own and leery about sharing it with her loved ones. She thanked me for allowing her to lay down her burdens without judging her. The process gave her the courage needed to tell her friends what she’d been going through. I was so happy for her. 

Since we were laying everything out on the table I decided to state my intentions. I told her I could see myself married to her, within 6 months and I told her I wanted her here in Dallas with me. As the words left my mouth I honestly couldn’t believe what the hell I was saying. But it was all true. She responded, let’s revisit all of that in 6 months time. I said, sure but I am no longer going to date others, I have stated my intentions with you and from today forward I am going to move as if we are going to be married in 6 months. 🤷🏽‍♀️ I told her I am on that track and when she gets there, I’ll be waiting. She laughed and said Ok. Then she deleted her dating apps and said she’d close out things with 1 person. 

So here we are 👀 🤷🏽‍♀️. Moving at top lesbian speeds, lol. It is what it is. We have a connection and we’re both invested in exploring it. If in the end it does not workout, I will relish the time spent. There’s really nothing more to do about it. I refuse to live in fear. When I close my eyes for good the only regrets I’ll have are the risks I did not take. Trying and failing, is ok with me.

Anyways, due to these amazing developments, I have been majorly distracted today. I was already kind of slow this week but I literally did nothing today. And now I have 15 minutes to finish and hand in a report, lol. FML….

Let me get to work…