A “we” popped up

 

Just off the line with Ms. Straight Gurl. She’s in Germany on a work trip. I was going to join her but together we decided it was not the best use of money. We decided that we’ll use that money to go somewhere else like Bali…

Notice the “we”? Yeah, so did I. I think it might have just happened today. 

Ms. Straight Gurl was at the bar of her hotel having a few drinks. She was excited about her conversation with the bartender so she decided to call to tell me about it, lol. Why was I salty because she said she liked his watch, lol. I was like, “I have a nice watch too.”😒  LOL 🤣

And there it is ladies and gentlemen… Apparently, I want all of her attention 👀. That’s a sign that I actually like her, a whole lot 👀. 

Then we were talking and somehow it just came up. I said, “You know that I want to be with you.” 

She said, “and vice versa”. 

Then I said, “Then we’re good.”

Ok. So in that moment I am not sure if something actually happened or what. Like did we kinda sorta become a “we”? Just like that? I mean, I think I’d love that. But I don’t know if it actually happened, lol. 🙄

I have to say, even before that specific conversation I felt some type of way about liking her so much and concurrently dating other women. Like, first of all… the other women have no shot in hell because I actually only want Ms. Straight Gurl. So is that fair to them? To keep them around to create a level playing field for myself when there’s a chance someone might catch feeling for me and get hurt? That ain’t right. Yet on the other hand, is it appropriate to cut off the others when there’s no commitment between me and Ms. Straight Gurl?

It’s a gray area where I think any thing I decide might be borderline ethical.

What is it that I actually want to do? Good question.

I just want to see Ms. Straight Gurl and I do not want to date others.

There it is. That is what I will do. In so doing, I will let her know my actions without making any requests. It’s too early for expectations so I do not have any. I will simply tell her that I am interested only in her. I have decided to stop dating others simply because it no longer feels good or right to do so. And with all of that said, this is a share and not a request. I don’t expect anything in return or in response to these decisions of mine, period. That’s just that.

Ok, I am crazy tired. I am going to retire and try to be a better person tomorrow than I was today.

-Unique-